I would like you all (what can I say? I grew up in Texas) to read Cherished79’s entry Handcuffed to My House. She did a great job of describing what I have been experiencing the last five weeks or so. Remember my descriptions of all the nearly catatonic days in Geneva? Two of the most common, and in my mind most painful, symptoms of major depression are anhedonia and psychomotor retardation. The first is simply the lack of desire for anything pleasureable (an = not, hedonia = pleasure, same root as hedonism). The later is motor retardation caused by mental dysfunction (as opposed to neurological or physical or t.v.). Suicidality is a mosquito bite compared to these two; sometimes it even seems like the key to the handcuffs.
-Ashley
Stuck in Bed
21 August 2007 · 3 Comments
Categories: suicidality
3 responses so far ↓
Liz // 21 August 2007 at 3:24 pm
I wanted to be glib and just say “Throw the key away!” but I decided against it (even though, I just DID say it - sorry.). I’ve never heard of anhedonia and never connected motor retardation with depression, but since you mentioned them, I realized just how fitting the words are for what I used to feel. Ever since my therapy ended and having started work, motor retardation during depression have gradually lessened. Anhedonia is still strong, though, and it’s kind of weird when I’m depressed and moving about without finding any pleasure or satisfaction. I feel like a robot.
Ray // 21 August 2007 at 8:35 pm
That anhedonia is normal even between us (TDHP). I can’t be happy easily. It’s required of a bunch of random factors to make me happy. Anyway, hyperthymic people are annoying, aren’t they?
[OT] Somehow i envy you because i am having a massive load of job stress right now and i would like to be stuck in bed
Bob // 22 August 2007 at 3:22 pm
Contributors to this blog who have told their story have indicated that one of the potential keys to recovering sufficiently to begin to reclaim their life seems to be finding a pdoc who is “brilliant” at finding the right combination of meds. At what point should one either begin a search or ask for help to search for such a pdoc? Obviously, there is no magic pill but the proper meds have helped others better manage their illness.
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