The In and Out Cat Song

Does anyone remember the old Garrison Keilor song about a cat — all cats actually — that constantly changes its mind about wanting to be inside or outside?

“Well … I wanna go out.  Yes, the great outdoors is for me.  I’m just a wandering soul, that can’t be held down.

But … I wanna come in.  Yes, I know you missed me so.  I’ve been gone long enough, so I think I’ll hang around.

Now … It’s time to go out.  Yes, it’s time to see what’s new…”

Anyway, you get the drift.

The great thing about going in the front door, instead of through the ER, is that you can just ask to leave whenever the mood strikes you. 

So … I wanna go out.  Yes, I need to get these legs a movin’.  Time is passing by and I don’t want to miss the scene.

Still Crazy After All These Years

Well, I’m going to check myself in today.  The last couple of days have been pretty rough and I don’t know if I can make it through another lonely night.  I will talk to my doctor about doing only the partial program instead of the full day.  If you don’t hear from me for a while, you’ll know it was the latter.  And, if you don’t ever hear from me again, you’ll know I took the third option.

It’s funny, I started this blog with the handle “Suicidal No More” — optimism springs eternal, or was it just sardonic word play?  Either way, I can no longer continue the masquerade.  I’m still sick.  I guess I’ll always be sick.   That points to a question always in the back of my mind: who would want to live like this for the rest of their life?  I sure as hell don’t.  Is that the disease talking? Or simply the voice of reason?  I know what my doctor would say; what would you say — you who have been in the bog?

Thank you all for reading my silly little blog.  It really has meant a lot to me.

-Ashley